Befooling About Divorce


Going through a divorce and starting over is not an easy task. Before people are blinded by love a second time and decide to remarry the time is really tough for them.

Fooling oneself about divorce is a favorite time pass for many newly divorced people. When one is on the emotional roller coaster ride of divorce certain false beliefs help them out. The newly divorced people often need to get through some pretty deep some drastic changes in order to maintain the kids, jobs, friends, homes, cars, etc.

First-time, even second-time divorcees pass through mental agony while going through the legal hurdles. Getting through such situation becomes very hard at times. They fool themselves with certain lies which they purposely tell themselves which act as an effective survival tool to control their emotions.

Different ways of fooling oneself:
There are many false statements which people say to fool themselves such as –

1. First of all they say to themselves that now that I know what they did wrong and they won’t do it again. They often make a list of all the ways they chose wrong this time and decide not to do the same wrong again. They consider their own information and experience will help in choosing the “perfect match” in future. They decide to keep their eyes wide open in the coming days.
2. They believe that their kids are adaptable and a divorce will not hamper their life much. But fact remains that the kids of the broken families are the worst sufferers. They suffer for what is not their fault. They find it very difficult to choose between two parents and two homes.
3. Some people think that as they have no kids they don’t need to remember what happened. They wish to get rid of all traces of marriage. They want to erase their memory.
4. There are divorced people who think that they are not like their divorced parents. As divorce is not a genetic phenomenon they don’t need to ponder over the matter.
5. Some often say to themselves that they will just never get married again. This is especially in the case of first time divorces.
People who have gone through divorce often the above lies do not help them much. The aforesaid denials are not only easily recognizable but are very much acceptable.