I am sure that couples therapy is not where you would want to see your relationship march. However, trouble with relationships is an extremely common issue and here are some facts for helping relationship in counseling
Well, “You know, I believe that…” happens to be a part of our everyday conversation. Have you ever paid heed to the fact that all our beliefs are merely our perception? As we change our perception, we are able to see things in an entirely new light and it changes so much…
Our beliefs are at the core of our entire emotional personality. Our beliefs define who we are as far as our psychological personality is concerned.
In a relationship, there can be a lot of trouble with relationships when our perceptions take the center stage of rationale.
If you have been in a couples therapy, you would know that when helping relationship in counseling, the counselor challenges your belief system in a very subtle manner.
Here is a list of beliefs that can ruin your relationship
Good relationships do not require any work.
Yes, that’s a belief among many men and women. However, it surely to kill your relationship. The fact is that good relationships are actually the toughest work. They require partners to work on themselves.
You cannot have it all.
That is a common belief and is not good for you as an optimist. It might have been propagated by those who wish that you must settle for less than what you actually deserve – Just kidding.
What you can achieve is determined by your burning desire to achieve it and your dedicated actions. While it is important to strike a balance and set your goals right, who said that there can be just one goal or you cannot achieve one thing after another?
Jealousy means that your partner really loves you.
This is yet another belief that will do no good to your relationship. As a fact of the matter, jealousy is a typical sign of an insecure partner. Love and insecurity is a deadly combination. If you want a peaceful relationship, keep the ‘J’ factor as far as possible.
Fighting is a sure shot sign of any bad relationship.
Disagreement is a normal part of all kinds of relationships. Though fighting is considered to be a sign of an abnormal relationship for too many disagreements do lead to parting ways. We need to know that healthy relationships can have disagreements. It is important to learn healthy ways to resolve the disagreements and promote understanding. You can ‘agree to disagree’ too. Partners must not be afraid of expressing their differences of opinion. Do not overlook the disagreements and let them pile because it eventually cab lead to lack of trust and faith in each other.
Your partner will change if he/she loves you.
The utmost difficult part of human nature is that we are adamant. We want to stick to our beliefs. Ponder upon the fact, “Will you change if you love your partner?” The answer is a “maybe, it is difficult or a big ‘no’ ” Hence, to expect you partner to change is a bit too much to ask for? Or not really… J
He/she knows about your feelings and needs.
Knowing each other’s feelings is something that happens only in fairy tales, movies or folklores. Normal people need to communicate with their people. Since all partners cannot be mind readers, it is advisable to learn verbal and nonverbal signs to communicate your feelings. Do not leave them guessing… they might never get it.
I hope you sure did “get it.” So, work on your beliefs and keep out of trouble with relationships.
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