All of my well wishers are asking me to go for a divorce. They will be furious if I do not. They are insisting me to file a suit for divorce immediately. I do not know what to do. It is true that I am hurt deeply. But we had been together for many years. We have kids who do not know anything, but I know how they will feel if we break up. They know things are not going well between us. Should I reconcile the situation for the sake of our children? If I take the decision to divorce, should I tell them the reason behind it? Would I lose my kids after the divorce? Can a good lawyer stop my partner from taking the kids away from me? I am totally confused; I do not know what to do.
This is the common problem for many of us. In such a case, you have many things to consider. First of all, think what you want actually. Do you wish to continue with the marital bond? Are you sick and tired of your spouse’s infidelity? There are many such questions which come into one’s mind when he or she thinks of divorce.
What to do in such cases?
You cannot change your past, but think whether you can change the future? Consider what you really want. Do you truly want your marriage to be over? Do you want peace and security? Is it for this reason that you want the relation to survive?
1. Think about the future: If you end up your marriage, what could be the effects upon you, your kids and your spouse in the coming years? On the other hand, if you continue with your marriage, what might be the results? If you can work out your problems and difficulties, forgive and try to make your past love grow, the marriage will become better than what it was before.
2. Go for counseling: If you think you should reconcile, ask for professional help. Forgiving and reconciling do not happen all of a sudden. Go for counseling as it will help you to make the right move.
3. Take your own decision: We need our families during any kind of crisis. We want support and love from our families. When we get hurt, we have strong negative feelings about the person who hurts us. So we do not wish us to continue the relationship with that person. But consider whether ending the relationship is the best course of action. Sometimes it is not. A break up may lead to sad consequences. Do not allow others to take the decision on your behalf.
4. Do not hurt your spouse: If you want to hurt the one who hurt you, it is never a wise decision. Never let your pain affect your judgment. Acknowledge your pain but do not aim at repaying the hurt.