Recently, Patrick Huge found that his wife has a separate secrete account that she never spoke to him about. While going through account details he found that she had managed to save almost $60,000 in her account. The thought of his wife keeping a separate secrete account was emotionally quite traumatic for Patrick. He had a million questions on his mind and answers to none.
It is important to understand that once in a while it is very much possible that your spouse forgets to inform you about a certain expense. However, it is equally important to understand that only placing your faith blindly in someone’s hands gives them a power to break it. I am NOT at all saying you should not have faith in your spouse; all I am saying is don’t be blind. Financial and marital experts opine that all minor and major reoccurrences of infidelity including financial secretes damage trust.
What to watch for
Two major indicators of the financial infidelity are
- The mean attitude An attitude of, “it’s my money and I don’t want to talk about it”. Such deficiency of openness signifies that there is something just not right.
- A scheming power play Manipulation such as, “I have other responsibilities thus, all my finances remain mine but, since we are married your accounts must belong equally to both of us.” The manipulation is of various kinds and mostly is emotional one. Always such partner will use their controlling powers to get their spouse around the finances.
While we can see that the financial infidelity appears in various forms, however, at the core, it these acts are ignored due to
- excessive trust,
- respect for the spouse or
- emotional weakness
Relationships vary from pretty fragile and cast in stone stages. You cannot live without them nor must you mistrust every single move of your spouse. Faith is at the very foundation of a healthy relationship. A relationship with shades of mean attitude or scheming power play cannot be a healthy relationship. To live a lie is even worse than not having a relationship at all.
Finances are as important as emotions. Just as both the partners need to have healthy emotional bonding, similarly they also need a healthy financial bonding – sharing and caring. Financial infidelity is no less than emotional or physical infidelity.
So, what can you do to keep the financial infidelity out of your relationships?