Do you hold a past which you don’t want your new date or any new person in life to share with? Are you not very sure about it?
If so then you must read the following:
What should you do when you date after divorce?
Introspect and think about the reason behind not willing to your disclosure. If you hold a fear that your new partner may not understand the reasons of your last dissolution then avoid sharing the same with your new date. Judge the person and then choose the right time to disclose about yourself.
Never jump into conclusion or sharing everything about your past. Know the person, understand his capacity to accept things and then accordingly make a decision.
In many instances it has been observed that if you disclose right in the beginning it may work against your relationship and you may lose this person before you get intimate.
Why should you stop yourself from being too honest in the first few?
Men have a different approach towards life and even relationship. Before a person knows you he might not be able to understand the exact reasons behind your dissolution. He may take observe your fault more than the other person.
There are some men who do not want to date with a “divorcee”, if that is the case, firstly you must avoid getting into an association with any such man, and secondly, you must give him some time to explore you as a person. This may change his mental process and he may start liking you to be his partner.
When should you disclose?
You have to apply your sense of judgement and then make a decision accordingly. Once you see the person absolutely in confidence and sharing an emotional attachment with you then you can think of disclosing all about yourself. And this is not a cheating or hiding upon facts, but, it’s all about giving him some time to understand you as a person.
In fact, if you are still facing problems with your ex relationship, then you can share the same with the new date, because by with time he will be more understanding towards you and your circumstances.
How should you make the disclosure?
While disclosing about your past, time is certainly important, and the equally important factor is the “way”. You must make sure that you pass on the information in piece meals rather than dumping everything on him. It should be a gradual process wherein his receptivity is quite important. Give him a “pre-context” of your past so that he doesn’t get a shock when you disclose things.
Being transparent is quite important in a relationship, but, sharing this transparency at the right time is even more important especially when you are dating after undergoing a divorce. Disclosure before the right time may not allow any relationship to get mature in your life which could be painful and hurting at the same time. So, apply your skills and judgement to do the same.