Are you a single mother? And you are willing to Date? But you’re concerned about your children’s thought?
If “Yes” then you need to sit back and relax a while and then proceed ahead with your further planning.
Children’s Attitude towards mother’s dating
- It is rare that children are supportive towards their mother’s date. They may not be against the happiness or wish of their mother but it is only the past memories and to some extent the insecurity in them which holds they back from supporting you in your endeavour.
- After all, they have been fathered by a man who is their “biological father”. So, the bond with this man will always be stronger and prior than with any other man.
- They are not happy to share their mother with anyone else, because after they have been left by their father, she is the character they bank upon.
Tips to convince the children
- Be patient: Hold on to your patience when you handle such a situation in your life. Neither blame the kids for you not being able to carry on with your date peacefully, neither move away out of it. Give them some time to settle down and you may find them changing their attitude towards the whole episode.
- Explain them: You must make an effort to explain them the situation that you need a life of your own and a companion in the form of man is quite required for you to be happy.
- Assure them: There should be enough assurance from your end about the fact that the kids are not going to lose or share their mother; rather a new relationship would only mean an entry to the family which is going to be as supportive as their own parents have been.
- Prioritize: When you are speeding time with your kids, avoid taking any phone call from your date and vice versa. This way rather than juggling between the two, you would be managing both of them with equal importance.
- Make them understand that you are individual: Your children must understand that you are an individual apart from being their mother and you have your own set of needs which they must respect. You need to be happy in order to make them happy and hence you need to have a social life as well.
- Involve them in your decision but don’t let them rule it: You must always involve them in your decision making process but you must not allow them to dictate terms. Keep them informed at the right time and in a right way so that it doesn’t come to them as a shock.
Like any other individual even single moms also need to have a partner apart from the mother’s role. However, it might not be easy always for them to get through it with children being around. So, the best policy is to handle the situation wisely and make sure that they don’t lose upon the fun of life amid playing the mother’s role.