Do you have such a spouse? Or have you come across a person who has such a spouse?
It would mean a lot of task to deal with any such person in life, and if he or she is your spouse then the task becomes a real uphill one.
The issues associated with such spouses
- It is difficult to strike a balanced communication with them because when and if they down like something they take no time to get aggressive.
- When there is a non-approval on any issue from their end, one cannot expect a mature behavior rather they may get aggressive.
- The degree of aggression could range from being verbally abusive to even going down to the level of physical abuse.
- As because they tend to dominate their spouses, they have little respect for this person.
- They don’t hold themselves back from ridiculing their spouse in front of theirs because they tend to prove themselves to be right always.
- They may not observe the other person to be an individual who has every right to think, feel and express.
- They will rarely be open to any suggestions made by the spouse.
Dealing with them
- The first and foremost weapon would be to silently oppose them and wait for the right moment or opportunity to talk.
- Answering them back on their face could make things worse, if one is really interested to be in the relationship.
- Patience and silence could mean a lot and would be helpful in dealing with such people.
- One needs to evaluate if the domination is for the good or it is bringing a good deal of damage to the individual bearing all this.
- If it is making a person submissive and disturbed and taking away the peace of the family one should think upon being in relationship for more than once.
- Ensure that children are not affected by the same.
- Let them see with examples the ill effect of their aggression and domination.
- Express your discomfort and pain without seeking for sympathy and without getting equally aggressive.
- Don’t threaten them of leaving the marriage; rather tell them that you would like to do so because you are not able to bear the pain anymore.
- Make them feel that you are capable to lead your life on your own and hence you are not sticking to him merely because you are incapable.
- Give them space and let them be on their own especially during times when they get aggressive and irrational.
Relationship between husband and wife should be a platform when both of them have to play an “equal role”. However, when one starts encroaching the independence and respect of a person who is the spouse then this kind of a relationship may not have a long tenure. One should try out various things to make this person happy and content but not beyond a limit. In the entire process of making effort you must keep in mind that you are an individual too.