Having a good relation with your in laws could seem to be an uphill task. Indeed it is, because this is one relationship where there is no blood connection, and at the same time there is always a feeling distrust and insecurity.
However, you may follow the given tips to make an effort of having a good relation with them:
- Understand their psyche: You cannot bluntly assume that they are bad. You will have to understand that the love of their son/ daughter which was meant for them only has been shared. Earlier when they had complete charge of their son/daughter’s lives, now you have replaced this position and you hold the most significant place in his or her life. It may not be true but this is how they think. Hence, you have to consider all this before you reach a conclusion.
- Give them time: when you are new to them they will have a series of preconceived notions about you. Some of them may turn out to be true and most of them may not. So, the remedy remains in giving them time to accept you and understand you so that they can shed off their negativity.
- Be in normal self: sometimes to win their confidence some of the son-in-laws or daughter-in laws go out of their ways, which again is not quite helpful. One should try to be in his normal self and do what he can do remaining very much within his or her own capacities.
- Don’t give up: When you are trying to establish a good relationship with them never give up hope or sit back thinking that things could never improve any further.
- Don’t keep complaining to your spouse: Even if you do not like a series of things, or even if they have hurt quite significantly, make sure that you keep things to yourself. You need not tell everything to your spouse right then, you can always wait for the right moment and express your views in some reference to context or the other so it doesn’t look like a complaint. Don’t forget that they your spouse’s parents and you have come only recently to his or her life, whereas they have been there. He or she may not believe everything that you say, so make it referral and don’t just download it straight.
- Make them feel comfortable: You can always provide them with the sense of security which you need not do vocally. You can express so with your actions and make them happy to the extent you can.
- Draw a line: Very subtly you can always mention their limits and maintain one for yourself too.
Your in laws can never become your parents, so expecting something of this sort would only be a wishful thinking. But, you can always have a congenial relationship with them so that your family life is conducive and peaceful. It would also help you to get the best out of your in-laws.