Telling Mom Politely Not To Intervene In Married Life


Marriage is the most sacred and personal relationship in an individual’s space. Today no married couple likes to see a third person interfering in their marital matters. This is specially found true in case of over-bearing mothers. Irrespective of whether you’re the son or the daughter, mothers have an uncanny protective quality that goes on even after you’re married. You may not like it.

Question is, how do you communicate with the mother to back off and let you and your spouse just be?

Be Courteous

Because she’s your mother you have to employ a respectful way to tell her to keep distance from your martial issues. Quite honestly, it is nobody’s business (not even your mother’s) to keep her eyes and ears on your marriage. Many a time, couples grapple with coming to terms with the mother’s ‘interfering quality.’

The best way to deal with it is not to react. In case you find her throwing to many queries at you, just smile or nod in response. Answer to whatever you think is appropriate, don’t pay heed to the rest.

Support from the Father And Spouse

If you’re unable to it alone, seek help and support from your father and husband. Fathers are usually equipped with the attribute of better understanding. More importantly there is no one else that could possibly understand your mother better. So it’s best to take his assistance on the matter and request him to have ‘the talk’ with her. In the father absence, you could also enlist the help of your spouse. Express your love and appreciation for her, but at the same time, tell her that your marriage is your own comfort-zone. You share it with your spouse. It is important that she does not unnecessarily intrude in your marriage. Assure sure, that in case you ever need advice, you will go to her.

The Drastic Measures

In case the simpler remedies do not show the results you desire, it’s best to employ the drastic ones – without letting go of the ‘courtesy and respect clause’ of course. Keep your mother out of the loop. Do not discuss your ‘bedroom talk’ when she is present. She does not have to know what’s going on between your spouse and you. Even then, if she continues to pry, just change the subject and distract her. If your mother goes back to the topic, politely tell her that the matter has been discussed already and you and your spouse have taken a decision on it.