Falling in love with someone whom you are going to marry – as long as that someone is not married – is a good and honourable act. But falling in love with someone who is married to someone else is a cardinal sin even in societies that have accepted gay marriages!
Nuclear Family Concept
Joint families were a norm of the past. The concept of one husband and one wife type of “nuclear family” unions was not so widely accepted centuries ago. But the modern, western concept of individualism is the reason behind the rise of the “nuclear family”.
This “nuclear family” system gives a lot of freedom to individual families to conduct the family affairs without having to give in to the corporate decisions of a joint family. But then it has its own pitfalls and one of them is the pressure build-up between the husband and wife as a result of occasional misunderstandings and quarrels.
Living under one roof and bumping daily into a person whom you dislike would only help in developing more hatred towards each other. This increase of hatred prompts partners to look out for what they miss out inside the family. That is when extra-marital love blossoms.
- There are four different scenarios in which extra-marital love can happen:
An unmarried woman loving a married man – Many married men have left their wife and kids and have gone behind unmarried women. Such women are viewed by the society as the marriage-breakers, the devil women. Unmarried women who yearn for a father figure in their lives fall for older-aged married men.
- An unmarried man loving a married woman – Many women who are caught in a dead marriage often look outside their family to satisfy their urge. They are attracted to young and attractive men. If this kind of affair comes out in the public the woman stands to lose not only her husband’s support but also that of her own parents.
- A married man loving a married woman – The grass is always greener on the other side. Husbands who have good looking wives at home still go out looking for love and more even in the house of another man. This form of extra-marital love often leads not only to broken families but also to broken noses and ribs as both the perpetuator and the victim are grown up married men.
- A married woman loving a married man – A married woman who has seen another married man take good care of his wife and children, but do not receive a similar kind of care and affection from her husband may take the risk of getting close to that man to savour what she is missing. This form of extra-marital love happens only when a woman has had enough with her husband and is looking for a separation or divorce.
It is not necessary that all extra-marital love affairs lead to marriage. Most of the time, because of social pressures, those involved keep such relationships hidden. But the whole situation goes out of control when the affair is found out by close family or friends.