The Goal of Marriage Counseling


The Goal of Marriage Counseling
Marriage counseling is to sMariage counsellingtrengthen marriages irrespective of whether the advice is provided before or during the married life of couples. How effective are most approaches to solving marital tangles and achieving the goal? Traditionally, counselors have not been successful even after being highly skilled and experienced. Professional marriage counseling is significantly different from friendship helping but not entirely devoid of an uncomplicated compassion of understanding and sense of responsibility.
Promoting intimacy in marriage have been a traditional choice among professional help givers. More often than not, the counselor sets a goal for the couple as well for herself/himself. The question is, ‘Is the goal appropriate’ given the state in which the relations stand at that point of time. Some will say that the goal should be to better the marriage. Well, that could be good enough for the counselor but is it good enough for the warring individuals who are more often than not seeking a permanent solution to all their relationship woes.
The best approach that can be adopted is the conjoint marital counseling in which both the partners and the counselor participates. If only one participates while the other stays away then the outcome can be less motivating. Conjoint participation involves that all three are willing to improve the present predicaments and go beyond them. Just b physically going through the motions of discussions will only lead to further fault finding and no real introspection. Interestingly, introspection by the counselor is also equally important. Does the counselor really looking at the appropriate goal or only suggesting a temporary reconciliation? The counselor needs to express a ‘no hope’ situation truthfully.
Interestingly, no human is receptive to advice. Nobody would be initially willing to pay for something which comes free. The idea should now transcend to managed mental evaluation. It is the way couples are guided to think for themselves and evaluate the status of mental re conciliatory process. This has great advantage as it provides a self seeking answer which is done with diligence rather than random judgment.
Essentially then brief thinking and focused alternatives should be prepared that can be tailored by the couples themselves. At times the couples are too disturbed to think for themselves. Interventions in these situations may become complicated and may require additional time to settle the turmoil within. It is important to note that never should the individuals feel that they have been manipulated to agree. The overall aim must be one of an enthusiastic approach to a better mental relationship rather than an apparent change in behavior that provides space to live in but only temporarily.