When a married couple mutually agrees to have extra-marital relationships with others outside their marriage, it is called an “Open Marriage” or Polyamory. This new concept is not quite widespread yet but it is gradually catching up among married couples and has the potential to change the very concept of marriage given the fact that people are increasingly questioning the basic principles of traditional marriage.
George and Nena O’Neill had written a book titled “Open Marriage”, way back in the early 70s. It was considered as a “wild”, “playing on the edges” type of concept back then. But now it is considered as a thoughtful and better option.
Love Them All
The term “Polyamory” means “multiple love” and some people seem to be inclined towards such a relationship. There are people who feel constricted by unnecessary traditions and are always looking out to push the boundaries in pursuit of a better way of living. Such people are able to give equal love and care to more than one partners and hence do not understand why they have to be constrained by culture to just one partner.
According to 34 year old Cherie, there was a time when she had three boyfriends at once and they had lived together. She tells that she always used to watch “love-triangle” movies and wonder why the hero has to choose between two partners when he can love both equally. She says the greatest benefit of a polyamory relationship is that each partner brings something unique to the equation and that adds more value to life.
Not Just Sex*
It takes away sexual monotony that often plagues traditional marriages, but its not all about sex. If proper guidelines are clearly set, then polyamory helps all those who are involved in various social, physical and emotional levels.
A bisexual wife in an open marriage has her girlfriend often come over to her house. Her husband and kid has accepted her as part of the family. She brought up the topic of Open Marriage with her husband when she felt that she could not get all that she wanted from her husband whom she loved dearly.
Experts disagree with claims that polyamory is beneficial. They say that polyamory is a receipt for danger as it would lead to more disappointments and breakups. Your new partner may suddenly develop a desire to be your primary partner. Personal jealousy is a strong factor.
Health is another great concern as you are not always in a position to verify the sexual health of your new partner. In many countries adultery – sexual relationship outside marriage – is illegal. A disgruntled partner is enough to land you in jail.
Polyamorists insist that the benefits far outweigh any disadvantages. I felt I was living a lie, trying hard to fit in to a monogamous relationship, confessed one polyamorist. He said that he now feels he is being true to himself.