“Teenage years” is a phase in HER life when she undergoes changes not only in context of mental alterations but physical changes too. Girls tend to grow faster compared to guys as they undergo more visible bodily changes and this is one such phase in a girl’s life when she experiences mood swings and physiological changes too.
As parents it is very important to read the growing up girl’s mind and notice the radical changes she is undergoing. Any teenage daughter’s closest caretaker in her crucial years is her Mother. Mothers have this divine knack of feeling their kids and they are the first institution that any child normally relates to. During the teen years a mom needs to examine, guard and guide what thinking her daughter is developing vis-a-vis the world. But it is an extraordinary task even for the birth giver to read her teenage daughter’s emotions, reactions and feelings.
The pertinent method is to initially build a rapport with the daughter. In this process, a mother needs to become not only her best guardian but her best friend in whom the girl can confide and discloses what she feels like. At this very important juncture in a girl’s life, it is the initialization of getting into a relationship. Though the relations made are not serious types, are for sheer fun, time pass and not life long yet this “romancing age” comes in every girl’s life. These minor bonding might or might not aid in shaping her personality and change her outlook. Therefore, it is essential to make her share these experiences, to speak her mind out and emote well.
Girls generally feel shy to share their fantasies and dreams but once the guardian is taken into confidence, the young girls spill the beans. So, how to coax a girl into telling her feelings?
The first step is to become friendly and candidly tell her that she should not be reluctant to tell as it would be kept a secret and no third party would get to know.
The second step is to advise her on matters of heart, studies and playing. Giving advises is just like sharing her burden and she too would feel relieved by sharing her sentiments.
The third step is to give her incentives for example the guardian can put forth a proposal like-“I will gift you this and you need to tell me what’s happening with you”. This would encourage her to come forth and reveal.
The fourth step is to give her freedom complete independence yet simultaneously keep a check on her activities and actions.
Complete freedom because its human nature that if one is asked not to engage in a particular thing, the individual craves to do that particular thing only. Give her freedom to take her own decisions but yes with the concrete support of the caretaker. Suppression is not good as it destroys ‘personality’ and makes one lose confidence. Therefore, giving independence to do what she wants to do is the right alternative.
Fifth step is to make her independent in her approach towards life. Always lend a patient ear and analyze what she is interested in and accordingly direct her in a manner that is most suitable, apt and right for her. Even if she unintentionally steps onto a wrong and harmful step it is the bounded duty of the guardian to explain the attributes and disadvantages of a particular step or decision.
Always keep both sides of the coin open in front of her. She needs to know what are the pros and cons of her steps and how it would be beneficial or damaging for her in the long run. The consequences of her decisions ought to be examined closely and the girl explained on these lines.
In the initial years of growing up, a teenaged girl might get attracted to the opposite gender which is quite natural. In such a scenario she should be told categorically that teenage relationships and romances are not for keeps and she should “let them go by”. If some of these guidelines are followed and implemented, a teenaged girl would not only open the book of her life but would make the guardian read it too.