Bringing up children is one of the toughest jobs you may come across. The job becomes even more challenging and exciting when you have to bring up two children together. No matter how different or how similar they are from each other, in most of the cases there is going to exist a “bond” in the form of “rivalry”.
For you as a parent it could be “head scratching” and may get “unbearable” at times to bring them on the same platform.
First of all we will understand the causes for such a feeling
- If the children differ in gender then, the brother will not like the softness of his dad towards the sister. The sister on the other hand would want to go for any adventurous trip along with her father where she sees her brother joining the trip all the time.
- Girls and boys differ from each other biologically and emotionally, hence they cannot relate things with each other.
- As they differ in age so what is suitable for one may not be suitable for another one, hence mutual likes and dislikes will also differ.
Managing the rivalry
- The first and foremost thing as a parent you must understand is that they both require your individual attention and an undivided one. Plan out your day in a manner that you spend quality time with each one of them separately and then together.
- Narrate them stories of brothers and sisters and the beauty of them being united.
- Make them feel how they would be in the absence of another one.
- Appreciate both of them when they are sitting together and emphasize upon their strengths.
- Express the positive thoughts of one sibling to another and make them understand that they are loved by their brother or sister.
- Avoid comparing one against the other as this kind of a comparison will fill one with superiority complex and the other with inferiority complex.
- Sometimes you may leave them to manage their own conflicts so that they learn interpersonal skills.
- Even if one of them is apparently wrong you should avoid pointing his or her mistakes Sort the issue out and later you can make the falter understand his mistake privately so that his esteem is not hurt.
- Give them a joint task wherein they both should get involved equally. Once they are through with the task you can appreciate their efforts and show them the benefits of working and hence playing together.
“Sibling rivalry” is a common phenomenon in every family. As a parent you have to non-judgemental, fair and patient handle this issue amongst your children.