“A healthy divorce or an unhealthy marriage. Which one is better for the sake of children’s future”
To be or not to be? Should we get a divorce? Or should we just live unhappily ever after for the sake family and kids? Will our divorce ruin the future of our children? Or should we just pretend to be a good couple and make children feel that everything is okay? If such questions pop up into your mind every night, you should look for a solution ASAP. As they say “it’s now or never”. Today, I will try to reason which one is better a healthy divorce or an unhealthy marriage. Hopefully, the information in here should act as a painkiller for you.
I am not happy with my marriage. What should I do know?
First of all, talk to your partner and try to converse with him/her regarding the issues. Ask him/her clearly whether he is up for a split or does he want to give it another try. According to various polls, conducted all over the world it is found that the reason behind the rise of divorces is that couples do not talk to each other often. Trust me, half of your problems will vanish once you initiate regular conversations with your partner.
Is it a bad idea to stay in an unhealthy marriage?
One of the hardest decisions that one has to make is to decide between a
healthy divorce or an unhealthy marriage. The word “unhealthy marriage” gives a chill down the spine because you know it will keep reaping various bad experiences every day. There are various reasons why you should walk out of an unhealthy marriage ASAP.
No. 1 You expose your children to daily arguments
If everything is not okay between you and your partner for the casual talks will end up in brutal fights. Such situations have a severe effect on the minds of your kids. Children go through a traumatic period when the parents fight but they choose not to speak about it because they are too devastated. They prefer to remain in a shell than to speak up about their feelings. These activities will slowly take them away from you especially if they are teenage.
No. 2 Your child will stop respecting you
The pre-divorce fights and arguments will make your child lose all the respect that he/she has for you. Kids will try to stay as far as possible from you so that they do not have to face you.
No. 3 They will not believe in the concept of marriage
Divorce is a big decision. With the rise of regular fights and you two being too rude to each other- will make your kid believe that every marriage ends up in divorce. I am sure that you don’t want this to happen.
How will the children react? Will divorce affect their future?
I understand that you love your child a lot and you are bothered about his/her future. And that is one of the main reason why you avoid the divorce talk. Think for a second, your child is observing you since childhood. Constant fights, physical brutality, lack of proper conversation, never making it to the soccer game or avoiding direct eye contact. They know everything. The way you have been lately will affect their future MORE than your divorce can.
Nobody can deny the fact that children do get affected by the divorce of their parents but, if you actually want to give them a happy future, you must talk to them. Tell children everything very clearly. Assure them that everything is going to be okay and you will treat them in the same way even after your split.
Having said that; do you really think that opting for a divorce is the last option for you? Think again. It may be a tricky situation because it will affect the life of everyone in the family. Before you take the final decision consider following cons too:
Your kid will be forced to choose between one of the parents
Choosing between a healthy divorce or an unhealthy marriage is an important decision because your entire life depends on it. After the divorce, children will have to live with either of the parents. No child will ever want his/her parents to split from each other. Unfortunately, the child will have to decide whether to be with Mommy or Daddy.
Are you ready to be a single parent?
Divorce not only destroys you emotionally but economically too. If you have a 9 to 5 job, divorce will add to the misery. You will have to take care of the education, travel allowance, extracurricular activity expense and manage the future savings too. The expenses you were incurring together will automatically fall into your lap. Chances are that you might not be able to give your child a bright future as expected post your divorce.
Also read: How does divorce affect your pocket?
What if you don’t get the custody?
The worst nightmare ever is not getting custody. The court will grant custody to either of the parents depending on various conditions such as:
- the economic, mental & physical fitness of the parents to take care of the child singlehandedly and
- is the child is willing to live with you or not? etc.
What if the child doesn’t choose you?
People avoid talking about divorce because they do not want their kids to think that all marriages end in divorces.
A bad marriage can happen to anyone. Start to believe that it was not your fault and you did not plan any of this.
Be positive. If you think that there is any scope that things between you two can get better drop the idea of divorce.
Please discuss your priorities with each other and opt for a solution that would be int the best interest of everyone.
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What would you choose a healthy divorce or an unhealthy marriage? If you have any queries or issues, please leave a comment below or post your query and our experts will help you find the best possible solutions. Yes, posting a query is Free! and you can maintain anonymity if you want to!