The best of marriages are known to get spoilt with time. There have been people with sound reasoning skills and correct sense of judgement but they are also found to be struggling to save their marriage. And as time passes by, the marriage loses its sheen, ultimately reaching a position when it is almost finished.
What are the signs of a rotten marriage?
Both of you may start finding faults with each other every now and then. And all those things which excited you in the beginning phase become a reason for you to crib. You stop looking at the positive aspect of the marriage and find it too bitter and disappointing to stay with this person any more.
Why does it rot?
Somewhere the individuals themselves are responsible for the rotten state. And sometimes the circumstances around you are largely responsible. You get caught with the mundane activities so much and you are so occupied to meet all the various roles that you forget that an important part of you is to be a “loving spouse”.
Can there be a better option than divorce?
There certainly can be, and this is nothing but “structured separation”. This kind of a separation will stop you reach the finishing line and give an additional life to your relationship. This precisely means that before you actually land up signing the divorce paper, you give a breather to your marital bond.
How does it help?
In due course of time, you get used to a person so very much that you actually get confused if you love your spouse or it is only a habit. When you plan a structured separation, you stay away from each other for a considerable period of time. During this period you meet each other not to share a responsibly but to spend time and a quality time indeed. When you meet, it’s not for your child’s Parent teacher Meeting, neither a party in the office nor is there any other reason. It is only two of you meeting and having fun.
Since you don’t stay together round the clock, you actually get to analyse if you still love each other or it is only a habit.
You may learn to value each other more because you have limited scope to meet and talk. This automatically prevents the option of getting into an argument and all you do is a positive communication.
Structured Separation has given good results to many who actually thought there is no sense left in their relationship. It has given a new life to the marital bond because this is the time when you down bother about anything else but think about each other only. It helps you to rationalize and understand if you actually want your spouse back in life. Therefore, much ahead of taking a decision on getting divorced one should try this option out unless the marriage has turned absolutely dirty and there is no scope to survive any more.