Can you regain the trust of your spouse after having an extra marital affair?


You can always give it a try and see if you can actually make your spouse believe all over once again. It is not going to be easy for you, and it would be equally difficult for your spouse for your spouse to trust you.

You may try the following tips for bringing back the trust in your marital bond:

  • Evaluate and analyse the reasons: the first and foremost thing you must do is to evaluate the reasons which made you feel attracted towards this new person who could be a fiend, an office colleague or someone else. Once you have done that, think if you really want to be in this relationship and you actually want the marriage to work out.
  • Do not play blame game: when you are caught being infidel does not blame your spouse for whatever happened. You are equally responsible for the situation and it is you who moved away not your spouse.
  • Ask for forgiveness: Sometimes people get adamant with the thought of asking for forgiveness. Do not allow your ego to restrict you from asking for forgiveness. There is no harm in admitting your fault rather blunder and moving ahead constructively in life.
  • Be prepared to get shouted upon: Your spouse may shout and yell upon you, if so, you have to take it if you want to bring the relationship on track.
  • Be firm and transparent with your decision: When you let your affair know that you are not continuing with the association any more then you have to be firm. You must let your spouse know about it and the other person should also get a clear message that your decision is not out of compulsion.
  • Become a good informer: You must be a good informer so that there is immense transparency between the two of you. Don’t forget that every step of yours would be observed either intentionally or unintentionally.
  • Respect the anger and empathize: You have to respect the anger which has come out of hurt and pain you have caused to your partner. Also, you must understand his or her situation by putting yourself into her or his shoes that how dirty the feeling of being betrayed could be.
  • Give time to your spouse: Don’t expect miracles to happen because human emotions could not be switched off, just like that. In all probability you spouse may take some time to recover and you have to hold on to your patience for the whole of this period.

When you betray your spouse who has loved and trusted you, you not only cause pain but also leave a spots on your relationship. If you think that it is worth being in the relationship then you will have to be genuinely apologetic and must make all possible efforts to gain the trust of your partner. The entire process could take longer than you can expect, but, keep holding on to your nerves.