Divorce is always a painful affair in most of the cases. It brings agony to both partners and also to the child who gets the most horrifying experiences of his life. The pain is aggravated when the custody of the child I shared between both the partners rather than one of them getting the sole custody.
It said that consistency and continuity is an important factor in bringing up children. In such a parenting the biggest challenge for the child is that he has to stay with one parent for sometime. Before he gets adjusted to this parent’ style and environment he has to move to another parent. Hence there is a complete lack of consistency in the upbringing of the child.
He has to adjust to two separate individuals who might have over into a new relationship after getting divorced. Hence apart from his own parents he has to adjust to this new entrant in either one or both of his parents. Here, he has the difficulty of adjusting with them not only externally but internally too. It gets difficult for the child to see a replacement of his own parent, which is quite disturbing for him.
You might see your child losing confidence as he has no surety of his future due to non-availability of both the parents at same point of time.
You will have to juggle with your time table and routine as the child would be with you for some time and for some time he would be with your ex-partner.
If the relationship need with a sour note then you will always struggle with an unsecured feeling, especially when your ex-partner pays a visit to your child or your child goes to him to spend some time.
Taking decision for even smaller issues like choosing football or art n craft for your child will also get difficult, as your partner has been given every right to make decisions on your child’s behalf and you are never convinced with his decisions.
You will always feel that you have to share your child with somebody who is a biological parent but was never attached to you or to the child emotionally.
Hence bringing up a child with a partner who is not in your life anymore is quite difficult especially if both of you got separated with a lot of trailing and bad memories.