Hanging Dirty Laundry After Divorce


laundryMany negative emotions engulf individuals who go through the painful process of divorce. The emotion of anger would be the chief of all negative emotions at that time. Couples going through divorce would feel anger at different levels.

Anger is a result of deep hurt and it is often satiated only when it inflicts hurt. A cheap but very effective way of satiating anger is by revealing dark secrets of your partner to friends and family. There is nothing more satisfying for a revengeful soul than inflicting unbearable shame on others. Revealing someone’s deep, personal secrets to others is known as “hanging dirty laundry”. But before you vent your anger on your partner by hanging dirty laundry, it would be good to sit and consider a few things.

1) What if You Choose to Reconcile?

The intensity of anger does not often allow you to rethink on the dirty laundry you choose to hang in the public. But you need to note that once a secret is revealed it can never be taken back or erased from other’s memories. And once the intensity of the anger dies down then you will start regretting the fact that you actually revealed all those unnecessary secrets. If you have kids you should be all the more careful as they may stumble upon your dirty revelations somewhere, somehow.

So, a couple needs to have a mutual understanding as to what secrets will be left unrevealed and those limits should be safely guarded. If you were not in a position to have this understanding then set a decent limit yourself so that you wont later regret what you have done.

2) It Can Lead to Unforeseen Consequences

The secrets you chose to recklessly reveal to the public can actually get you a legal notice from your partner. If the secrets you have revealed about your partner ends up in any public forum then it obviously is not private anymore. Hence your angry partner can make a legal case against you.

Most attorneys would advise couples not to share personal details publicly as it may also jeopardise the proceedings. You may actually be helping your partner by giving away more than what you ought to. So think well and deep before you blurt out your secrets in the public.

3) It Lets Others Sympathise With the Victim

The person who is gladly revealing personal secrets about his or her partner would only be thinking of how it would humiliate the other person. But as far as others are concerned, by revealing your partner’s dark and personal secrets to them, you are breaching the trust of your partner. By doing so, you come across as an untrustworthy person. So your act of hanging dirty laundry may actually do you more harm than good.

If its Already Out There

If your partner has already shared your secrets in public, then there is no need trying to argue with him or her as he or she is not going to be able to think while the anger is still on. It will only lead to more unnecessary arguments which wouldn’t help you in any way.

Remember, that by sharing your secrets in public your partner expected you to get angry. So it is better not to let him or her feel satisfied by the results. You can control your anger by telling yourself that you are not going to allow your partner to dictate how you would react. What has been revealed is humiliating for sure, but the best way to get over it is by forgetting about it and moving forward. Most of them who would have seen it would soon forget all about it.