They say that there is no definite formula to handle marital bond and hence marital issues. And this is evident from the marriages we see around us.
Every marriage is “unique” and so are the issues and the problems cropping up between the couple.
However, many a times, the success and solution of an issue lies largely in the way itself, you handle the same.
How inept handling can add to the problems?
- Gap in communication: Sometimes, when you are quiet because you want your spouse to settle down, you want him or her to be comfortable and share his problems with you. But the other side of the thought could be that you are not bothered about the problems arising in your spouse’s life. So, even if your intention is to make your partner feel comfortable, you may land up leaving him or her alone and making things even more difficult for the other person.
- Feeble understanding: There are examples of couples staying together for years, yet they don’t know each others body language or gestures well. When you consider a silence to be a “short term” it could get prolonged if you down probe into it and find out the exact reason. There are people who do not want to share their feelings with anyone else including their marital partners, in that case, you have to be after your spouse and reach at the root of the problem.
- Short term disturbance or a long term disaster: there are moments when you take a “fight” quite casually, because it may have started for a simple reason which could seem to be silly for you. But, if you don’t sort it out within a given time limit, your problems may get aggravated and you may fall into a deeper trouble.
- Unfulfilled expectations: Your partner expected something else out of the marriage, and unfortunately you are not aware of the same. With best of your intentions you have been trying to put in 100% to the relationship but yet unhappiness prevails in your relationship. Somewhere down the line you forgot to gauge your efforts if thy era moving in the right direction or in the reverse one. Check yourself before it is too late.
- Ignoring intentionally or unintentionally: Your partner wants a child, but you are the peak of your career and you want some more time before you start full-fledged family. Both of you have “criss cross” thoughts. Ensure that you exchange and respect your views, neither you are too ambitious nor is he “in ambitious”, but the chord has to be common.
Marriage is a baggage of happiness and unhappiness both. In fact there is a thin line difference between the two. It takes no time to get this line dissolved and it takes quite a lot of effort to ensure that the two are away from each other. The larger issue is to handle the “problems” intelligently, sensibly and emotionally because this is the most important “emotional relationship” of life.