Top researches suggest that a good number of marriages end in divorce because of conflicts over monetary matters. A recent survey by Country Financial said that more than 40% of couples didn’t discuss how they’d manage their money together ahead of tying the knot. Hence, it is essential to be on the same page concerning finance, before committing yourself to a serious relationship.
Time to talk
Love and Money expert Farnoosh Torabi says “A frank conversation about finances early on will prevent relationship land mines later on”. So it is better for partners to have a frank and open discussion about finances. There is no right time to discuss finance with your partner.
- Bringing it up early in your relationship will decide if you are simply mismatched with regard to matters of money and that its time to move on if you don’t want to spend time on a relationship that ultimately won’t work out.
- Bringing it up later on in your relationship means that you know your partner’s behavior well and you can select a suitable style to put across this delicate subject.
- If both of you aren’t prepared to have ‘the talk’ at the moment, you can both take some time to reflect on it.
Approaching Your Partner
When you take steps towards the discussion, it is key to be precise and yet prudent. Don’t launch a surprise attack on your partner and force open details, create a tranquil, warm atmosphere and an anxiety-free time to put your point across. It is fundamental not to order your partner to reveal their financial facts. It is important to remember that hiding debt and income details from your partner will only cause trouble later in life.
By observing your partners expenses and way of life, you can raise issues specific to your hopes and aspirations for your future together. Instead of pointing fingers at your partner for financial defaults, be sympathetic, liberal and find out how the state of affairs came to be.
Every human being is different and faces distinctive financial situations, but there are a few general areas that everyone should mull over.
- Debts: It is significant for you and your partner to come to a mutual agreement on whether your debts will be paid off independently or together.
- Savings and Assets: The decision to maintain combined savings and assets or retaining them separately should be taken.
- Spending habits: Some couples are on the same page about spending and saving money, while others have one partner who’s sparing and another who’s a squanderer. In both cases, you need to decide how to handle your money together.
Think ‘Money’ before you leap
So before saying the big “I do” and fussing over rings and dresses, make it a point to discuss your financial situations and come to a mutual agreement. In the words of money expert Michelle Singletary, “Money may not buy love, but fighting about it will bankrupt your relationship”.