The gap between expectations and reality in a new marriage

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Tensions in New Marriage
Tensions in New Marriage

We all have a series of dreams associated with our marriage and more importantly the person we get married to. Surprisingly, these dreams start in our minds and even in our hearts right from the time we understand that one day we would be getting married.

Amazingly, these dreams crop up and get nutritioned in us much before we have actually met our life partner.

When we meet our partner

In the initial days of dating, both the people are in the best of the behaviour and hence everything seems to be quite comfortable. And it is more so because, the two people are new to each other, and the ego is yet to creep in between he two personalities. Gradually, the two move towards marriage and finally they get married.

The gap between expectations and reality

When we start spending time with our would be, gradually, we start realizing the differences and by the time we are yet to come to a conclusion most of the relationship turn into a marital bond. However, immediately after marriage we realize that the layer of dreams is being moved and we are quite close to reality and nothing else.

One may have dreamt of a partner who has no other priority but the spouse, but in reality one has to go to work, one has to earn money and one has to think of managing the living too.

The dream was probably to smile whenever one looked at each other, but in reality the office tension could bother the partners so much that they even forget to hug each other leave alone being romantic.

Are the expectations wrong or the reality too hard?

Neither of the two, because, when we dream we are probably at an age or in a world which is far away from reality. So, a marriage for us is actually like a fairy tale. In reality, when we are “the man and the wife”, we have to face the hard demands of life and that most of the times become a barrier to the dream world.

Hence, when we start living a “married life” the world comes closer to reality and dreams goes off the window. However, these are all stages of life and one has to fit into both the roles easily.