Most of the counselors see the couples coming to them in the time of crisis. There is a rare phenomenon when couples visit a counselor during the smooth phase of the marriage.
However, the counsellors have a few advices to make to the married couples which could be an instrument to make the relationship better and healthier:
Healthy Communication: This is a common advice coming from every counsellor. Over the period of time they have seen many of the relationships falling apart in the absence of a correct communication code. There are spouses who either talk or do not, there is some other who either “shout” or get into a “silent mode”. But, the advice form the experts are to strike the right kind of communication to make the relationship a healthy and happy one.
Being emotional: Most of the experts’ advice is to be emotional than to be rational about any issue cropping up in the marital cord. This means, even if you know the “right” and “wrong” there is no harm in sticking, forgiving and marching ahead with your spouse merely because you love him or her. People may call you an “emotional fool”, but if this foolishness keeps your bond going there is probably no harm in being called one.
Shed the ego: When you get into a bond like marriage, there is no space for “I, me and myself”. The only thing which exists and should dominate your life is “we”. You win only when your relationship is happy and for this you have to shed your ego and both of you blend with each other so that you can have a happy and long bond.
Approve and disapprove together: There is no business of “you decide” or “you think”, because once you are regarded as the lady and the man it always needs to be a joint affair. The approvals and disapprovals must come together.
Sense of ownership: Own your partner and consider him or her to be a part of you so that both of you can own up the bond as an integral part of your life. After all, your life probably hold little meaning if this precious relationship is not there.
Look at the cost: Even if you think that the relationship is not working out anymore then the first thing you need to do is to calculate the cost into extremes of economy and more importantly in term soft emotions. Think about the pain, you, your spouse and your children will be undergoing for one single reason that you could not adjust and give in to the requirements of your relationship.
For maintaining a relationship there are many dimensions one need to taking care of. And for the simple reason that no one is perfect it is always advisable to work out the things with the existing person in life. Coming out of it could be easy but holding on to it is worthy enough for you and for the people around you.