When the marriage is in a doldrums, many of us seek various supports. And this includes taking help from a friend, a relative, lastly a lawyer or a counselor.
But, we need to sit back and actually analyze the correct time and attitude for visiting a counselor whose help can work miraculously.
The right time to visit a counselor
Mostly, when the “rock” in the marriage starts, we either take it lightly, or we are too optimistic by considering the same to be a “small problem”. However, it is very important to keep a few points in mind while thinking of visiting an expert.
- When the problems between couple begin, they are still not beyond control if attended on time. And the biggest reason is that the emotional string is still attached between the two. So, things can be molded back in shape if attended on time.
- When the problems just begin, the chances of misunderstanding and trusting each other are quite high and this can be supportive in clearing the dirt away.
- With time, the focus gets shifted on the “not so good” part of the spouse than the “best aspects”. In fact, as time passes by, the spouse has a high chance of citing more and more examples where the other person went wrong. However, this chance is quite low in the beginning and this can turn things around for good.
When you visit a counselor at a point when the case has already been lodged in a court, all you get back in turn is expenditure and nothing else, because things have already asked a “sour shape”.
So, it is always advisable that people visit a counselor right in the beginning when the problems spurt up.
The right attitude of visiting a counselor
The most important aspect of solving issues between a couple or any relationship is the “attitude”. This is the biggest requirement to ensure that things travel back on the track. Some of the requirements will be:
- Don’t hear what you want to: When you visit a counselor. Don’t go with an expectation that he will only speak in your favor and satisfy you by admitting to the mistakes made by your partner. In fact a right counselor will always have an “all round evaluation” of situation den will speak accordingly. So, don’t wait to hear what you want, rather to accept and understand what is true and good for you and your spouse both.
- Shed your ego: If you are suggested about your mistakes, don’t let your ego come in the path. Also, when you re narrating incidents and associations to your counselor, make sure you do so with an independent attitude instead of being driven by “I, me and me”.
Hence, your visit to your counselor will only work if you have the right time and attitude to help your relationship, otherwise it would be a wastage of resources and you may land up blaming the Counselor for the failure.