People commonly say that husbands cannot tolerate their mother-in-law. But wives bear the same feeling too. Latest researches say that women find their mother-in-law to be controlling, interfering and hard to digest.
Women accuse their mother-in-law of over- parenting and extremely interfering even before their husband and children.
Many women leave the house to get rid of the clutches of their mother-in-law. At times the stress is so much that it leads to even marital breakdown.
It is very often observed that the relation of married women with their mother-in-law is bad or horrible.
Mother-in-law as a ground for divorce:
It is common now-a-days that the mother-in-law becomes a ground for divorce. Today when a matrimonial dispute comes before the court the judges find it difficult to give a decision when all the allegations are aimed towards the mother-in-law.
Reasons for the bitterness in the relation:
The main causes for the stressed relation are the following amongst others –
- Differences in the idea of parenting – Often the mother-in-laws look down upon their daughter-in-laws who are new mothers, criticize their parenting ways and interferes in their new relationship with the child. Though the mothers-in-laws can be a great support for new mothers and they can share the childcare responsibilities. But in many cases the scenario turns out to be a negative one.
- Role of the son – The sons play a major role in the conflicts. Instead of sorting out the issue with the mother and wife, some men stand aside and let the women confront with each other.
- Sense of insecurity of the mother – Most of the mother-in-laws feel that they are being excluded from the life of their son. Till the marriage of their son, they have been the person having most of the control in the life of their son and now it is the turn of the daughter-in-law. The mothers feel that their importance is being substituted by their son’s wife. The mothers feel that they are struggling to achieve the old position in the family.
How to remove the bitterness?
Try to find out the reasons why you do not get along well with your husband’s mother. Try to remove the ill feelings and approach the issue from a different angle. Find out whether are you jealous of the control she has over your husband’s life.
There is always hope of mending the disputes. Discuss with your husband what to do. It is pathetic when families break up and this should be the last resort.
Communicate with your mother-in-law. Spend some time with her in the kitchen or stay beside her and talk. This will definitely give a positive effect to the existing conflicts.