After 25 or so many odd years of your life you realize that your husband was in a relationship long time back and he never disclosed it to you. You have come to know about it only recently only when his tongue was slipped.
You must be in pain and must be feeling hurt for, you trusted him all your life and thought he was only yours, but, now there is a twist.
Amid many things you might be dwindling whether to forgive or to punish him.
Should you consider punishing him?
You may, if you think that the gravity of infidelity is extreme. And this extreme can be defined only by you and solely depends on your tolerance level. If you don’t find it justified to punish him for the grave error he has made in life then you can go ahead with your decision. You can teach him a lesson for his life for being dishonest to you and breaking your trust for so many years. After all, you have reasons enough to take such a step; he not only fell for a relationship but also did not feel the necessity of informing you the same. So, you have every right to take actions against him.
Should you consider forgiving him?
You may, because an “infidelity” is only a phase of life and not the life itself. If your bond has been a prolonged one and he slipped off may be for the first time or only on one instance then you may ignore it. You have to take a look at your whole life, if he has been an honest and caring husband, a loving and responsible father then you may certainly forgive him for the slip off.
You have to understand if it was circumstantial and he actually never meant to betray you, if so then he deserves a better treatment.
He may not have disclosed his affair to you when he was in a relationship may be he did not want to hurt you. This is another thought which shows that he cares for you.
Should you be reactive?
You may, you can always express your anger combined with pain and show him that you always trusted him for the kind of love he has been pouring on you. But, to know about your love being shared is quite disheartening. Make him realize his mistake so that he never repeats this kind of an error in life.
Marriage is a bond which is much deep and strong than many other relationships in life. It is certainly not a wise thought to forego this bond and break a family because your husband got de-tracked for a brief period in life. There are many parameters which should actually be considered before reaching a conclusion. Like any other person your husband too is a human being who could prone to mistakes. If you let go it, you may occupy even a higher place in his heart for the considerations you would be making and your conjugal bond may even get stronger.