Have you come across the fact that your friend is surviving an abusive relationship? You want to help but aren’t sure of the ways? Then you must read the following.
It is actually painful to discover that your friend who always has been a big support to you is now herself in deep trouble. This is a trouble which she can’t share or disclose to anyone even as close as you. And it is indeed challenging to find out ways of comforting or even approaching a friend in such a situation.
Some of the ways have been mentioned below:
- Never be direct on asking her the reality. Sometimes, you may not be sure of mishap, so it is always safer to be a little tricky and find out if she is in an abusive relationship or not. She may not want to be asked about her circumstances so instead of being straight, you should place the matter indirectly. This will not help her self-esteem, as she may feel embarrassed to discuss how badly she is treated by husband.
- Offer yourself in a smart manner, by ensuring that you don’t portray yourself as a Messiah; rather present yourself as a person who wants to render a comfort along with strong support.
- Avoid being prominent, when you realize that she does not want to share her pain with you, then make sure you render a strong support without making it too prominent. Never make her feel small by marking it on her mind that you care for her. Give it a gentle touch so that she feels comfortable even without finding herself to be small in front of you.
- Never ask her to come out of it, because the person might not be dear to you, but he is her love. And this is why she is sticking around in spite of being abused day in day out.
- You should not take decisions on her behalf. Many a times people are so concerned about their friend in pain that they start taking sensitive decisions like consulting a lawyer and or many such things on their own. This may sound legally correct, but, ethically it might not be. She may not be willing to lodge a case against the person she loves the probably the most.
- You must give her time to come out of it, if at all she wants to do so. Even if you want her to live a life with respect, she should make her own decision and for this all you can do is to give her time. Things may change at her end or she may want to come out of it on her own.
When you see your friend in pain you are bound to feel miserable and you would be desperate to help her out. As because you care for her so you would never want her to get abused, yet there is decorum to be followed which will actually help you to reach her better.